Maybe Someday

What is the purpose of my blog? I think about this question often. In all honesty, I created this outlet because in the first few months of losing my brother, I felt alone. I wanted to know that someone understood my pain of  loosing a sibling. We all have suffered loss. Not one type of grief is more or less painful than the other (well, than the obvious of loosing a child) but,  they are all distinctively different.  

I wanted to hopefully reach just one person. Someone who needed it. Someone like me. Who needed to feel that their pain was heard or somewhat understood.

I always wondered what I would feel like looking back and reading my old blog posts. Right now, when I go back and read past posts it always brings tears to my eyes. I guess I’m hoping to eventually seek growth and to remember..to remember what I felt, who I was at my most trying time in my life, and hopefully how much I have learned. I am hoping to see how much I have evolved, how much I have overcome.

Manny would not want me to bow down to this pain, to this grief. He would want me to seek my highest self. Manny would want me to realize or understand that their is a bigger picture. A plan.

Maybe someday.

Maybe someday, I can see beyond my grief, or at least learn to live and smile with a shattered heart. Maybe someday I can reflect on my experiences and see them with a different perspective.