My Brother,
I have realized that I love you too much to allow your passing to be a lingering darkness.
For you, I will not have your legacy bring me only sadness.
I will not allow my thoughts and memories of you to bring me only to tears.
While thinking of you, I will remember to smile.
For you, I will not allow your passing to deteriorate me. I have accepted the fact that it has changed me, broken me, even completely shattered my heart.... but it has also refocused me. It has completely altered my thinking and it has showed me my true strength.
For you, I am willing to work on shifting my grieving, to honoring you the way that I know how- being the best mom, daughter, sister and wife that I can be.
I will live my life as though I am looking at it through your lens, your point of view.
For you, I will continue to work on moving forward. I know that you wouldn't want us living our remaining lives broken.
I love you way too much, and for that reason, I will try to live my life happily and find the joy in every single moment. You are worth all of that! I love you that much, to take my selfishness out of my grief and to continue with my journey, because I know that you are here riding the wave with me.
I love you so much!
Wow honey, I really appreciate this. Manny for sure would want this. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading your blog, Manny it seemed was one of those individuals who was bigger than life itself. I am a friend of Jim and Barbie, I can now feel the kind of loss you feel, I just lost my love of 48 years unexpectedly like Manny. I'm not sure what is better, watching someone linger with illness and we have time to get used to the idea of them passing, or just leaving us quickly so they have no suffering and long illness, but we don't have time to process what happened. Either way, the loss of a loved one is really hard on us all, I think Manny would be proud of your family, I think the world of all of you, even though I have never had an opportunity to meet you. Your blog is wonderfully and just wanted to tell you!
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