Emotional Roller Coaster

 I literally feel like such an emotional roller coaster but I’m assuming that’s normal considering the circumstances. Today and a little bit of yesterday I have felt so much peace. I’m not sure if it is the spiritual conversation/connection that I had with my dear friend Courtney and a mixture of just my brother’s powering presence... but ill take it!  I feel my brother’s energy so much. Not necessarily in the traditional form.. through dreams or anything of that nature. Not to disregard those signs for others because I firmly believe in any and all signs. Actually, I feel like sometimes describing my signs to others cheapens them because they can’t fully understand the “feeling” that comes during the sign. 

My husband hiked camelback today to drop off some of Manny’s Rocks and he said something so empowering after the hike. When he was at the highest peak he felt the closest he would be to Manny. I loved that! A similar comment was made by my mom  when Autumn went sky diving, “She’s up the in clouds with Manny.” So beautiful and profound. Yet, I feel him right here. Next to me. With me. Which brings me peace, yet saddens me at the same time. Confusing to some I know, but the best way I can explain it.

The underlying statement that I want to make is I know my brother is here, I know he hears my prayers to him. I just have to get past the selfishness that encompasses my mourning.