Let's start with my drive to work. The song above, although extremely popular right now, continues to play just at the right moments. Well actually, very sad, intimate moments. Moments, for example, when I am driving by myself on my way to work. "So, before you go." Those lyrics speak to me. What I wouldn't give to have a few more moments with Manny. I am not even sure I would know what to say if I did have the opportunity to say something, "before you go." The blessing with my family is that we always expressed our love for one another. We never left without embracing and saying, "I love you." That is why I am torn. What would I say to Manny? Even saying that statement makes my heart ache. I may not even say anything...just be with him, hug him and again tell him how much I love him. No, I take that back. I would tell him how proud I am of him and what an amazing human being he has grown up to be.
This song and many others that play are subtle reminders that my brother is with me/us. Is it always going to be such sad, painful reminders that he is not here? Will there ever be a time when you remember a loved one and it brings a smile to your face rather than a painful emptiness in your heart?
And now on a more positive, less painful note. These students pictured will never understand how much they have given me. Chatting with them or holding the other end of the jump rope at recess has been incredibly therapeutic. I am so incredibly thankful for this rewarding position and the eye opener that these children have provided. They have helped remind me why I love with my job.
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