I watched my brother’s memorial video today. I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch it after his service. I honestly never thought I would again. It was so beautifully and thoughtfully done but I always have a pit in my stomach, even getting a glimpse at the start page of the video. I thought today watching it that it might bring me some peace. Wrong. It was a gut wrenching pain and reality check. It was a reminder of the beautiful life that my brother lived but with that comes the reminder that he is not here physically with us anymore. Maybe one day I can show my boys the video without becoming a complete sobbing mess. Not today, not tomorrow, not anytime soon.
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